Checking a prospective match is not distrust. It is ordinary due diligence, and a genuine family will expect it. Do it in stages, so that each step is proportionate to how serious things have become.

Stage 1: Before you share your number

  • Look at the profile for consistency: age, city, profession and education should fit together.
  • Check whether the person is identity verified on the platform. On Live Rishta, an identity-verified profile has passed a government photo ID check and a live selfie check, reviewed by our team.
  • Ask for a short video call. It confirms the person matches their photos.

Stage 2: Before you meet in person

  • Education and work. Ask where they studied and work, then check on LinkedIn or the employer's website. A professional email or LinkedIn connection is a reasonable thing to expect to be shown.
  • Marital status. Ask directly about previous marriages, engagements and children. For a divorcee or widow, a divorce decree or death certificate is the normal proof. Our guide on second marriage questions covers this.
  • Mutual contacts. Ask whether any relatives, friends or colleagues know the person or their family. A call to a mutual contact is one of the most reliable checks.
  • Family. Ask to speak with a parent or sibling, and see whether their account matches the profile.

Stage 3: Before you commit to an engagement

  • Identity documents. It is reasonable for both families to see ID. Check that names and dates of birth match across documents.
  • Employer. For a high-stakes decision, families sometimes confirm employment with HR or via an experienced contact.
  • Address and home. Visit the family home in person if you can, or ask a relative who lives nearby.
  • Background checks. A professional verification service is an option for families who want one. Look for a registered business, not a stranger on social media.

Use our questions before engagement checklist, and the legal and registration checks before the wedding itself.

Meeting safely for the first time

  • Meet in a public place, in daylight where possible.
  • Tell a relative or friend where you are going, and share your location.
  • Arrange your own transport, and do not accept a lift to a private place.
  • Bring a family member if that feels more comfortable. Many first meetings are with family present.

Protect your own information

  • Don't share your home address, ID numbers or financial details until you trust the person.
  • Never send money for any reason.
  • Share your own documents only when the other side has shared theirs, and only with the family at the right stage.

Signs to slow down

Refusal of a video call, a story that changes, pressure to decide quickly, reluctance to let the families speak, or a request for money all mean you should pause. Read how to spot a fake matrimonial profile for a fuller list.

Verification takes a little time, but it is far cheaper than discovering a problem after the wedding.